Oh Olympics, you are so damn funny! You are such a comedy genius and you don't even know it! Case in point: Ice Dancing. Forget the costumes (although they are pretty hilarious), forget that there seems to be some sort of rule that a sparkly headband for the ladies and greasy hair for the men is an artistic requirement, and forget that Ice Dancing is just couples skate for wussies. What is so hilarious about Ice Dancing is this: Twizzle! A Twizzle (according to Wikipedia) is a multi-rotation turn. What Wiki fails to mention is that apparently, a Twizzle must also involve some sort of spastic jazz hand movement and you must also have a look on your face like you've just heard a horrible joke and you're not sure if it's ok to think it's funny. Seriously, all the ice dancers wave their hands around and seem to be thinking, "That joke I heard earlier was really in poor taste, but damn was it funny. I couldn't laugh then because it wasn't proper but shit, I can't stop thinking about it and giggling like an idiot who farted in an elevator now!"
On the other hand, there is Curling. It takes skill, don't get me wrong, but I'll be damned if they don't look like a bunch of ice janitors frantically cleaning up after a kid who has just puked. Plus, there is the grunting and the yelling and the look of absolute boredom from the athlete’s children who have to be thinking, "God, when is this crap going to be over so we can go watch some snowboarding?" The fans (aside from the kids) and the announcers get totally into it and shout out random things like "CURL!" as they chug their eighth beer and high five each other. Well I’m sure the fans would agree with the new Curling motto, as Sam so geniusly came up with on Sunday as we were watching: "Curlers do it with stones!"
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